Voyage Phoenix Feature 6/26/24 - Meet Heather Leih
What an honor to be featured on Voyage Phoenix Magazine in their Local Stories section.
How Does The Song Of Your Soul Sound? AI x Leih LLC Collab
I am happy I get to find my way back to my soul everytime I go looking for it. I never knew I needed to listen long enough. Long enough so once the moment of true trust comes, It will sing a sound so sweet I’ll know I am home. No matter what I will do in life, I promise to myself I will always listen to the song of my soul.
How deep does the soul go?
It lifts my head and says, you were always meant to experience the abyss in which you find yourself.
Group homes are not the same as children’s homes
It's still unclear to me whether the explicit content from these books inflated my ego to the point where I felt competent in handling each moment that unfolded before me. To this day, I have no regrets about holding space for others in toxic and uncontrollable situations. After all, what can you or I do when things happen right in front of you at such a young age other than adapt and act? Two heads on problem-solving can sometimes be better than one.
Sweet soul, don’t forget, you are mother.
Sweet soul, don’t forget, you are mother.
Is it not you who gives strength to those who may not be able to stand so tall?
Sweet soul, don’t forget, you are mother.
Is it not you who leans into the intuition that whispers deep wisdom from inside that body of yours?
Sweet soul, don’t forget, you are mother.
Is it not you, who in moments of revelation, weeps for the world and all those who might never feel a deep embrace of grace?
Sweet soul, don’t forget, you are mother.
The moment you realized you were a human with a broken thinking pattern.
The ability to collect yourself and get the things you enjoy in order
Giving my inner child the words to heal in a cafe.
Let’s go farther than we did the last time.
Just a little farther.
I care about you.
I care about how you do in the world.
I care about how you are feeling in the world, about the world.
“Try scented, it works better”
It wasn’t until a few sessions in that I started to realize why my therapist was giving me stickers with texture on them, bubbles to blow for more breathing, and Warhead sour candies for my purse. I had been living a disconnected life. Not just from my thoughts, but my body. I wouldn’t be able to go through the deep work we needed to unless I started to rebuild the connection to my sense of agency. I never realized how many times a day I held my breath due to the flashback of a memory or intrusive thought. With less breathing, more anxiety tends to build up.
Unpacking the understanding of abuse and remedies
Dissociating from your body feels better than burning in Hell. That’s one thing I know for sure. How else could you continue to walk through an unavoidable blaze? I did not grow up fully understanding that turning into pain is a choice. It’s a thoughtless, arousing choice. Children who grow up without awareness of themselves, or knowing how real love should feel, will find themselves in all kinds of situations they never imagined. Monsters really do exist in real life and they certainly don’t limit themselves to just staying under your bed or in your closet.
LEIH LLC SKIN BIBLE
Beauty rituals for me have a very special place in my life. It’s my safe space and it deepens the connection I have with myself. It’s also my grounding practice to help regulate my body chemistry. I use some of these practices even throughout the day. Skincare is a lifestyle, not just a routine!
"You know Michael is going to have you do that in bikinis, right?"
It was one of my first serious trips in the modeling industry and I thought it was going to help boost my career to a new level. Grooming is an interesting concept to me. You never can fully conceptualize it’s happening to you in the moment. At least not the first time.
“Your family couldn’t help take care of you?”
The clinician can never fully prepare you to what your life will be like with a mother that has “bipolar disorder”. They never tell you that the first slap never loses the sting. The first chase and cower around the house is the reason for why you try and pretend to run away. That you will look to eventually appease your abuser. That, even after the abuse is done, you will gravitate by some force, naturally, like breathing air, to similar people and situations, believing somehow the outcome might be different. You hope and you pray. You pray as though you truly have no control either way in the outcome. It is inevitable what is to happen to you. After all, life has only been happening “to” you for so many years.